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Former Olympic Gold Medalist Discusses Battle With Depression

Tara Burkholder is the American Psychiatric Foundation's marketing communications manager.

A young man who seemingly had so much going for him found it hard to swim against the current of depression.

Greg Louganis shares his story at the American Psychiatric Foundation's "Conversations" event at APA's 2005 annual meeting. David Hathcox

More than 500 people attended a discussion between Olympic gold medalist Greg Louganis and former APA President Mary Jane England, M.D., at the American Psychiatric Foundation's fourth annual "Conversations" event held at APA's 2005 annual meeting in Atlanta. The two discussed Louganis's history of depression, substance abuse, abusive relationships, and HIV infection.

For a long time, Greg Louganis appeared to have it all. At the 1976 Olympic games, when he was 16, he won a silver medal, and at 24 he was the first man in 56 years to win two gold medals in diving by winning both the platform and springboard events. But unbeknown to his worldwide audience, Louganis was suffering from depression.

His depression was driven by late-detected dyslexia, prejudice about his dark skin color, and ambivalence about his sexual orientation, he said. Louganis told England that a lot of his success came from a desperate place. He felt that to be worthy of love, he had to win. Louganis said that when he won the silver medal, instead of feeling pride, he felt disappointment. Without the gold medal, he felt as though he had failed.

Louganis's coping mechanisms included staying busy and getting plenty of exercise. In a follow-up interview with the APA News Network, he said, "I had my dance, acrobatics, gymnastics, and diving to keep me physically active, which I think helped in basically my survival."

He learned that he was HIV-positive in 1988 as he prepared for the Olympic games in Seoul. For years, he did not talk about it out of fear that it would cost him his diving career. Eventually, he went public with his HIV status and began touring the country to share his life experiences.

Today Louganis spends much of his time speaking to youth groups, drug and alcohol rehabilitation groups, and organizations that help people with dyslexia. His autobiography, Breaking the Surface, was first published in 1995 and spent five weeks at the top of the New York Times bestseller list.

"Conversations" is supported by a grant from AstraZeneca Pharmaceuticals. The foundation launched the series at the 2002 annual meeting in Philadelphia to provide an opportunity for psychiatrists to hear from people whose lives are touched every day by mental illness. The event is conducted as an interactive interview to allow for freer conversation between the featured guest and an interviewer. Previous speakers included Tipper Gore, Carrie Fischer, and George Stephanopolous.

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